


eight

by amorflorece



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Based on a Billie Eilish Song, Break Up, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), I'm Sorry, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Tags Are Hard, There's A Tag For That, Wow, it's not fully edited and i am sorry, klangst, they are both hurting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 12:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20227933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amorflorece/pseuds/amorflorece
Summary: Keith took in the teary eyes, and studied the way Lance curled in on himself. Lance wrung his fingers nervously, wanting to reach out to Keith but stopped himself before he could. He looked small all curled up like that.Keith felt his heart hurt inside his chest.





	eight

"Wait, Keith." Lance pleaded with tears pooling in his eyes. Their sky blue turning stormy and clouded with a sadness that made his body ache. "Wait a minute, _please, _let me finish. I need to make sure you know how I feel, even if it won't change a thing."

Keith took in the teary eyes, and studied the way Lance curled in on himself. Lance wrung his fingers nervously, wanting to reach out to Keith but stopped himself before he could. He looked small all curled up like that.

Keith felt his heart hurt inside his chest.

"I know you don't care about these certain things but-," Lance paused to meet Keith's own grey eyes, "can you listen, one last time?"

His tone made Keith turn around to face him fully. He didn't know if this was going to help them at all, not after what they've been through. This thought is what got him to stay put, to clearly say, "Alright," before he changed his mind.

Lance sent him a soft smile, but it never quite reached his eyes. "I came committed," he started with a nervous laugh and his shoulders moved in a pitiful shrug, "guess I over did it. I'm sorry about that, especially because I knew how much it overwhelmed you. That's my fault, and only my own."

The guilt laced in his words did little to help calm the shame Keith felt towards himself. It wasn't Lance's fault that he couldn't accept the full potential of Lance's love. It was caused by Keith's own fears and inability to accept that he deserved such a thing. "Lance-"

"I wore my heart out on a chain around my neck, but now it's missing." Lance continued, disregarding Keith's own mumble of his name. "I'm not sure where or when I lost it. All I know is that neither one of us was there to catch it when it fell."

His eyes bore into Keith's, full of so much heartbreak, Keith could hear the pieces shattering inside his chest.

"I guess I noticed a little too late." Lance admitted.

Keith found it hard to believe that Lance wouldn't have known that they weren't going to last.

Lance had known, though, he just wanted to believe it was true.

Keith longed to reach out to hold Lance's hand, to just make sure Lance knew that he didn't mean for any of this to happen. He was too careless, too reckless in the amount of feelings he had uncovered to Lance, not thinking it would have ended like this.

"You said _don't treat me badly_ when we first started whatever this was." Keith reminded him instead. "And you said it _so sadly. _It made me question if what we were doing was even the right thing."

"I know, and I did the best I could to make it the right thing." Lance looked away from Keith, no longer able to meet him in the eyes. "I didn't think you would have left so easily in the end."

"Lance, none of this is easy for me." Keith tried, the words were hard to spit out with the huge lump in his throat. They felt like molasses on his tongue. "I told you from the start."

"Please, I know you're not sorry." Lance's voice was quiet, and he curled in on himself even more if it was even possible. "Why should you be? Cause who was I to fall in love, when your love never was for _me_." He wrapped his arms around his body, completely closing himself off to Keith.

Little did Lance know that Keith's love wasn't good enough for him. It wouldn't hold him like he wanted. It wouldn't have loved him gently, caressed his soft skin and kissed his willing lips the way he deserved. It wouldn't have stayed up to indulge in quiet whispers of words they'd never share with anyone else. Wouldn't bask in the moonlight holding hands as they watched the night sky, just as Lance had wanted to.

Keith's love burned and destroyed everything that got close enough. It ruined relationships with people he cared for, and was merciless in the self pain it inflicted onto Keith. It silenced his voice and pushed people away. It was selfish.

Lance didn't deserve such unloving love.

The silence between them felt tense, and the air was thick enough to take away their breaths. It felt like there was so much more to say. So many more apologies stuck inside each of them.

A call that said _please, I never meant to hurt you_.

A call that responded with a soft _I know you didn't_. 

They stood there staring at each other, making sure to memorize each other's forms. 

Lance memorized the thick slope of Keith's eyebrows and the scar on his cheek he got from messing around with a lighter when he was younger. 

Keith memorized Lance's messy freckles, and the blue of his eyes when he cried. He never wanted to see that color blue again. 

"So I- I think I better go." Lance finally said to break the silence, stuttering in his speech. He took a step back from Keith, his head down and his hands locked together in front of him. "I never really knew how to please you. You looked at me like I was see through most of the time, and I never really knew how to discern how you felt, as well. I questioned if you even felt anything at times." He said honestly.

_I do_.

Keith wanted to let Lance know everything. That he felt things way too strongly, strong enough to numb his senses in return. Like a pain that seared until all you felt was a dull throb.

Yet, he locked it back inside.

This was just not meant to be. 

They weren't meant to be. 

"I guess I'm gonna go, too." Keith turned his back to Lance once again, thinking it only made sense for him to be the one to walk away first. He's already done so much. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry, Lance." He exhaled and opened his eyes before walking away, down the hallway and out the door.

Without Lance.

Lance lifted his head to stare at Keith once he heard his retreating footsteps, and stared ahead until Keith disappeared out the back door.

He clenched the fabric of his shirt, right over his heart. His tears flowing down his cheeks in rivers he had no control over.

"You never told me what you were apologizing for." Lance whispered into the empty hall.

He turned his back to the door Keith walked out of and walked the other way.


End file.
